How to Make a Coyote Call

I started writing articles for eHow a few days ago. While looking for a subject, I came across "How to Make a Coyote Call." Having never suspected that this was a problem, and with a little thought, I came up with the following:

Upon reaching the coyote's receptionist, asked to be put into voice mail. Leave one of the following messages:

1. Bob's Auto has extended Cash for Clunkers through this weekend only. Call for directions.
2. A guy named Eddie has money to lend for your financial needs. He promises to make you an offer you can't refuse. Call for Eddie's number. It changes frequently.
3. I know the location of a colony of field mice just ripe for the taking. Reasonable finder's fee. Call me.
4. This is Jim from the TV show "Unfaithful." Are you sure that Mrs. Coyote is really hunting rabbits during those late nights away from the den? Call me.
5. Just saw this on the local news. A road runner was hit by a side view mirror that fell off a car marked "Clunker." The road runner was limping badly. Call me for the news channel reporting the story.